Have you ever found yourself in a situation that made you feel uncomfortable? It's a common experience for many people when they confront new realities or unfamiliar situations. But what causes this discomfort, and more importantly, how can you overcome it?
What is the comfort zone?
The comfort zone is a safe and secure feeling all animals/humans experience. It's a place or situation where you feel comfortable and familiar with your surroundings. You can be yourself, relax and don't have to worry about anything.
Familiarity and the desire for security
We all tend to be people with habits. We like to do things that are familiar and comfortable. Things we can easily predict or control thought to be the best option in our minds. It reduces the risk of failure which may benefit our social status. We don't like to be judged by others or like to be seen as a failure. Everyone wants to be a succesful person. Maybe not financial but in other ways. We all want to be seen as a good person, a good friend, a good parent, a good employee, a good student, ...
By staying in familiar situations we can also eliminate the possibility of stress, anxiety or uncertainty. These feelings could make you insecure and uncomfortable. This could lead to a bad performance or a bad impression on others. We don't want that, do we?
Drawbacks of staying in the comfort zone
By staying in your comfort zone, you're not challenging yourself. Stagnation becomes the result of this. You're not open to grow yourself and reduce the amount of opportunities that may arise in the future. For example a software engineer works in a never seen before changing environment where it is important to keep up with the latest technologies in the world. If you don't follow the latest trends you'll be left behind. You limit your growth and hinder innovation.
Benefits of discomfort
Trying out new things can broaden you skillset, make you more valuable, more knowledgable and noticed. A new skill could be helpfull in your professional career or in your personal life. For example, learning a new language could help you communicate with others. This could be usefull when you're on vacation or when you're working with collegues abroad.
Discomfort can open you horizons. By travelling you can learn more about different cultures, different people and ideologies. This can help you understand the world better and make you more open minded.
Increase your confidence! By getting yourself regularly in situations that make you uncomfortable you'll be more confident in yourself. You'll be able to handle more situations and be less afraid of the unknown.
New opportunities. By getting yourself out there you'll be able to meet new people. These people could be your future collegues, friends or even your future partner. You'll be able to make new connections and expand your network. This could lead to new opportunities in your professional or personal life.
Some of my experiences
Traveling alone
In February 2020, I made the decision to visit Barcelona on my own. At first, I thought it was a crazy idea, but eventually, I could see the benefits of it. It was better than spending the entire next free week on my couch after the exams. The only hurdle I needed to face was my parents. They were worried about me traveling alone because I was 18 at the time and did nothing like this before. However, after some convincing and booking the trip together, they agreed to it.
Although I had flown multiple times before with my parents, everything was new to me this time. I had to figure it out myself. Upon arriving at the airport in Brussels, I had to go through the check-in and security process. This is where the first struggle arose. My ticket wouldn't scan at the security gate. I was a bit nervous because I didn't know what to expect. Luckily, the security guard was very friendly and helped me out. We quickly discovered that the QR code on the ticket was damaged or printed incorrectly. He informed me that I probably also received the ticket in my inbox, so I didn't have to worry about anything. I found my gate and waited to board my plane.
Upon arrival at the airport in Barcelona, I needed to find my way to the hotel. Thanks to my research before the trip, I knew it was a 30-minute drive by car. Knowing this, I thought it would be the perfect time to use Uber for the first time. And I loved it! It was easy to use, and I didn't have to wait long for a car to pick me up. The only problem was finding my way through the airport to the pickup point. After asking several people, I eventually found it. Through these interactions, I quickly learned that Spanish people aren't the best at speaking English.
The Uber driver was amazing! He could speak English fluently and told me everything about Barcelona. He gave me tips on what to watch out for and which places to visit that weren't too touristy (because I had mentioned I wanted to experience Barcelona like a local and avoid crowded places). My first impression of the hotel was also very positive. It was social and practical. I had booked it through Airbnb and already knew there was a bakery on the ground floor.
During my 5-day visit, I was never bored. I explored a lot and even went for a run in the mountains overlooking the city. I visited the old Barcelona football stadium and even booked a helicopter ride, which I found very affordable at that moment. Everywhere I went, I took an Uber again, which saved me a lot of time compared to walking.
Eating alone was the most uncomfortable thing I had to endure during the trip. When I reflect on it now, I'm happy that I chose Spain as my destination. Many restaurants and bars had outdoor seating, which meant most waiters and waitresses stood outside serving their customers. I'm used to dining early back home so the restaurants weren't that busy so had the enough time to talk with some waiters.
I also tried Vicio, a fancier and tastier version of McDonald's, where I had to place my order using a form on my phone. The only problem was that the form was in Spanish. Fortunately, there was no one else in line except me, so a young employee helped me out.
During my trip back, I felt really comfortable and confident. I knew what to expect and how to handle things. I felt less introverted and more proactive in what I did. I learned that I can do things on my own, figure things out by myself, talk to strangers, be independent, be alone, and be myself. This turned out to be my best trip ever, even to this day. I would definitely do it again!
Going to live events
Being a typical stereotype software engineer, I tend to be a bit introverted. However, in order to meet with new like-minded people in this field, it's essential to step out of your comfort zone. So how is the best way to do this? By going to events! From the place where I live (Belgium) most events are for grown-up people. What I mean by saying this is that these events mostly target business people or employees of a certain company. However I am still only 21 years old and studying at school. There aren't many hackathons or tech events where you can join freely like in the US.
So I started searching on Eventbrite. I looked for technology events that were free and looked nice. My first one was in Brussels and I met a lot of other people. While my french is terrible and the french people can't speak dutch we had our conversations in English.
Events are nice! You just have to find the balls to do the first 3. You could ask "what could go wrong?" and the answer is always "nothing!". It can be intimidating at first but once you've done some events you'll be more comfortable with it and you'll be able to talk to people more easily.
Conclusion
By stepping out of you comfort zone multiple times you'll be able to grow yourself. You'll be able to learn new things, meet new people and have new experiences. You'll be able to broaden your horizon and be more confident in yourself. You'll be able to handle more situations and be less afraid of the unknown. You'll be able to open yourself to new opportunities.
So you need to get your ass out and don't think about what other think. You can learn from every experience/situation/interaction.